All Ruined Out

Sitting in the midst of Palenque´s Mayan ruins felt like sitting on top of the world. The Mayan world! It was absolutely stunning. I was so hot and sweaty I felt like I was about to melt, but I just could not move. I was transfixed by just how incredibly beautiful it was, an entire civilisation spread out in front of me, sticking out of the dense lush green jungle. From on top it looked like a giant 2000 year old jigsaw puzzle scretching out for miles around. Truely incredible and impossible to do justice to with words. Go and see it!

Back in the depths of the jungle I retired to my Cabana and spent the rest of the evening munching on burritos and sipping tequils cocktails (not nearly sick of either yet!) and listening to sounds of ´la Selva´, which comes alive at night with the buzzing and clicking of a million insects and animals )something I try not to think about when I first slide my feet into bed!).

The next day was a 5.30 am start, as there were 2 more big deal ruins to see: Bomanpac and Yaxchilla. The first of the two is only accessible by a boat along the river that pretty much divides Mexico and Guatemala, so i pretty such saw where I will be in a week or so.

The ruins were thmselves stunning, with a maze of tunnels when self sacrifice took place, a steam room (like that would have been necessary in this heat), and ball court, where it is believed the winner was sacrificed to the gods and even a hotel (though it obviously no longer takes reservations). Bonampac was a less grand but had stll intact brightly decorated interior walls, depicted various deities, more sacrifce (naturally) and daily life. Quite incredible when you think these painting are as old as our Man Jesus! The site also had trees which the locals called ´the tourists' because the bark has a thin skin which turns red in the sun and then peels off - Ha!

Anyway, I think I am done with ruin for a while now. Onward and upward into the highlands I go, to San Christolbal de las Casa, and into Zapatista territory. Vale!

Merry ól Merida!

Well its fair to say my visit to Merida was a little less cultural than I had planned. I did manage to make it there in time to see the street party in full throttle (via a quick trip to the famous Chichen Itza - along with about another 9 million camera wielding tourists and a bus ride that can with the worst guitar player in the world. I did involve a yummy tuna bagnette a la Kate though). Anyway, imagine a plaza full of tipsy OAPs salsa-ing their little socks off to an amazing 10 piece live band and you are there!

I sat down with a beer and within a few minutes I had be invited to join a couple of Londoners and a very drunk Texan who looked like Ronald Regan and spoke just as much shit. We soon did a runner, scoffed some fahitas and sank a few cocktails before bed. note to self: Copa de Nada is NOT a cup of nothing! On the contrary, it has tequila, run and gin in it, among other things....hummmm.

I enrolled in a city tour with the boys the next morning (the afore mentioned londoners who I must say are total gentlemen, if a ´tad´ on the posh side ;). Anyway, I lost them half way through when I went to buy fags, so i decided to check out the market, which in true latin American style was hot, hectic, noisy, dirty, smelly and absolutley ace! stalls piled high selling everything and anything. 2 sweaty hours later I emerged from the chaos with enough fruit and veg for a month and was in need of a nap!

Some hours later we decided to hit the town, and after a coffee in a wind tunnel that I am told served chicken that tasted like fish, we ventured out into the plaza, which was alive again, this time with dancers dressed a sceletons spinning round with trays of beers on their heads (?) and got stuck into some cocktails. A few Copas de Nadas later and I was wearing a huge Sombrero and requesting some Ace of Base be played. Bed soon folloewed obviously. Brits abroad anyone?

Still rather drunk the next morning, I hit the market again, this time with a camera (pics to follow later). I purchased a collection of rather weird Holloween sweets in the shape of skulls and what look like grim reapers (yours presents guys), along with a Spong Bob Square Pants Piñata and a Halloween mask which makes me look like Wednesday from the adams Family, and that i have decided is coming with me around Latin America and of which there is a picture of me in the hostels pool.

Despite being told by a number of reliable sources that the 2.30 bus wouldn´t get us to the local ruins (Uxmal) in time we bought our tickets and boarded the bus with a bunch of dungerees wearing, deleverance style red neck hill billys, two of which were clearly both gay and related to each other.

Low and behold, we arrived with about half an hour before it closed, and just as the heavens opened on us. It was actually very athmospheric, and hillarious, tearing around in the pouring rain. We were even treated to a beautiful mini rainbow before it really did chuck down and we decided to huddle under the tree by the road and wait for the bus back home.

So we waited. and we waited. And as it started to get dark, I began to wonder about the level to which my newly found friends would be able to rescue me if the sit was to hit the fan and the local mafia decided to jack us for our cameras and selection of iphones (sorry guys, but its true ; ). Anyway, fear not, we were saved by a little old lady, who after flagging down a pick up truck, turned to us and recommeneded that we get in the back.

20 wind swept minutes later and 50p lighter we were dropped off at the nearest town and after one last soaking we were whisked off in our ice cold bus back to Merida, shivering, but buzzing with the excitement of our adventure. A hot shower and an enormous pizza later, it was alreday beginning to feel like a distant memory.

I love travelling! x

Tulum, Turtles and not as much Tequila as I thought!

So Tulum was pretty beautiful. I started as I meant to go by diving into the sea and then treating myself to a fresh fish caught that day and a tequila sunrise to wash it down with at one of the little beach bars. Nice.

I took me about 5 minues to find myself a partner in crime - her name was Sue and she ranks up there as one of the biggest stoners I have ever met. Absolutely hillarious but takes f**king ages to anything, mainly becasue everything required a spilff for the way. Turns out she was in good company too, as most of Tulum spends large quantifies of their time unedr the influence. Even our hosts!

We were given our own bikes with baskets on the front for our beers, so we were soon off exporing. Despite the lazy pace we managed to sqeeze tons of stuff in. We visited Los Dos Ojos (the two eyes) which is an underwater cave (called a cenote)with two light holes that shone down into the darkness (the eyes obviously). It was pretty awesome - like something from our David`s Life, but I managed to get bitten to shit about 25 times in the 2 and a half minutes in took me to put my flippers on get into the ice cold water - bastards!

After that we headed to Acumal beach and went swimming with sea turtles! I was very prepared to see absolutely nothing, as the beach was pretty over run with hideous yanks, but within abgout 5 minuites and 50 meters we were swimming side by side with the most enormous creatures, so calm and graceful. Absolutely beautiful and could not care less that were were with 6 feet of them as they dived down to nibble on sea grass before surfacing for a quick breath and then plunged down into the reef again. I could see tehe wrickles in their huge necks and all of the different colours that make up its incredible patterned shell. Quite something.

After such a wholesome day with had a rather less wholesomne evening. A quick visit to the Supermercado involved a rather woobbly and only slightly dangerous ride down the hard sholder of the motorway, to get the necessary bottles of red wine and beers before they stopped serving at 9pm. Sue insisted on bying Mexican wine (clearly high) which ended up unsurprisingly tasting like a mixture of vinegar and aerificial sweetner (apparently the Mexicans are not big on wine) so before long with had cracked into our hosts Mescal. Now compared to this the wine was nectar, but it got you very drunk very quickly (probably something to do with the mescaline?) and before long we were in a taxi to Tulum town in search of a party.

I shall not go into too much detail, because this blog is read by my loving parents and I would not want to ruin the illusion they have that I am whiter then white , but it is fair to say that when we finally rolled into bed at 8 th next morning we had certainly be initiated into the Mexican party scene.

The next day we were good for nothing but lying on the beach groaning to eachg other and taking it in turns to buy more ice cold water from the beacj bar. WWe did manage a ride up to the Tulum ruins on the later afternoon, which was bautiful as they are set on top pof the cliffs overlooking the beach and looks quicte incredible as the sun started to set behine them. Then it was T minus half an hour until Mosquito time so we bombed back to the hostel and enjoyed a quiet (and sober) night at the hostel before our respective journeys out of lovelt lazy Tulum the next day.

So now I am in Merida and have more adventures to tell, but it is getting late and an ice cold Sol is calling my name. Hasta Luego!

Cancun, Kerry Katona and catching the bus out of there!

Well folks, my adventure is underway! And I have got up at 6am to fight off the crowds of fellow travellers fighting for use of the hostels computers so they can sit around on facebook all day completely ignoring the Mexico that is outside the door, so enjoy!

After a short sharp no fuss departure from blighty, I did the obligatory wander around Gatwick, buying crap I didnt need from Boots, trying all the expensive Chanel face creams, sampling the free tasters on various liquors on offer and ending up in the weatherspoons have a strong gin for the road, thinking of all the things I was going to miss. My fellow passengers all looked like Kerry Katona and sounded worse, so I was thankful when it turned out that my plane literally had about 40 people on it. I had 3 seats to myself, but I could have had 30. In fact - you could have ALL come got on and come with me! 150 quid people!

Anyway, the food was criminal, the wine was drinkable and the cigerettes were prohibited, so I gritted my teeth and after 11 long hours of playing solitaire, I had arrived!

Compared to arriving in Managua in the middle of the night last year, Cancun airport was a dream. It had signs for a start and after a short airconditioned bus ride I had arrived in downtown. A ten minute stagger along the road under the weight of my enourmous backpack later, and I was standing in a pool of sweat at the reception of my hostel being offered a glass of water by my rather concerned looking host.

I am afraid I cannot really tell you much about Cancun, as my entire experience of it involved walking to the nearest little square and ordering a vegetarian Burrito and the biggest mango slush puppy I have ever seen in my life, while cute Mexican kids drove around my feet mini 4x4s playing bumper cars, before I promply passed out in my bunk before it was even dark.

As the bus drove out of Cancun the next morning, I could seen in the distance the enormous all inclusive hotels lining the coast, like big ugly beetles crawling along what was once a beautiful deserted beach but is now a just hedonistic hell hole, their backs gleeming in the bright sunlight. In a way, I almost regretted not going to check it out - just to see. That is, until I arrived in Tulum and walked out on to what is possibly the most beautiful beach I have ever seen, and then to realise that the only people I was sharing it with were a few fishermen and a couple of local stoners. Bliss! I had arrrived.

T minus 9 days! eeeeeeeeek!

Well, here I am, off again! This time to the land of sombreros, tequila and FAHITAS! I am currently swinging between feeling so excited that I wish the plane was leaving in an hour, and so scared I feel physically sick. Why dont I just get a career and a mortage? a nice quiet husband and a couple of (also quiet) kids?

Anyway peeps! I hope you all enjoy my regular ramblings - if only because they will let you know that I am still alive and getting up to mischief!

Hasta Luego Chicos!